(via zoinks87)

gryffinpoor:

dudemanbropants:

gryffinpoor:

thepreciousthing:

the-ordinary-nerd:

ask-or-rp-with-will-petrisous:

squad16:

finalellipsis:

bestnatesmithever:

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

gryffinpoor:

dudemanbropants:

gryffinpoor:

thepreciousthing:

the-ordinary-nerd:

ask-or-rp-with-will-petrisous:

squad16:

finalellipsis:

bestnatesmithever:

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

(via wholockedj)

pr1nceshawn:

When it comes to cooking, not everyone is at the same skill level…

(via that-asian-you-know)

theyellowbrickroad:

the worst way for friendships to end is for literally nothing to go wrong, you just stop talking. they stop messaging you to see how youre doing and you get sick of being the first one to initiate conversation so you just let the friendship go and wonder how that person is doing and never hear from them again

(via throatcvtter)

littlemammal:

at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i signed it as donald duck i always sign as donald duck im sorry”

(via emiichaaan-deactivated20140625)

shampoo:

how do i achieve immortality and perfect eyebrows

(via throatcvtter)

hiddenlex:

bestnatesmithever:

karenfelloutofbedagain:

theunknown-abyss:

Louis CK on our culture on dating

I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR THIS MAN.

'Ugh, I hope this one's nice'

I may or may not have referenced this joke when making a point today. 

(via hammerbutts)

shogunofyellow:

Their real names tho.

(via toddkraine)

(via dumbpost)

guntoyourhead:

alcohol is not the answer

alcohol is the question, yes is the answer

(via fake-mermaid)

caseyanthonyofficial:

dekomoron:

shutupaubrey:

it should be illegal to put an s after the word “feel”

it feels like you didnt think this through

I think about this post a few times a month

(via bubbleraincafe)

whatheballs:

This article is great because that author tried to put in as many dick jokes that he possibly could.

(via mrs-buttbutt)